Written by Adam Click

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Wednesday, 15 December 2010

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"If that bitch thinks she's going to get my money she has another thing coming!"

Toowomba, Australia-The man who married a dog here last month, now regrets his hasty actions. The dog he married is suing for divorce and asking for a princely sum in alimony.

Although it was a seemingly pleasant relationship insiders say things were turbulent right from the beginning with the man repeatedly chasing his bride off the furniture and insisting she sleep at the foot of the bed.

For her part the dog was unhappy with having to eat off the floor and begging for scraps from the table."He treated me like I was his pet or something. You can't build a mutually satisfying relationship under those conditions." the dog wrote in her divorce petition, adding that she hoped to get enough in monthly payments to support her and her new puppies, which she is expecting shortly.

In his counter suit the man contends that his dog never really loved him and was only after his money. He's asking the court for sole custody of their puppies and the return of his engagement and wedding collars. In an awkward pretrial hearing he told the court: "If that bitch thinks she's going to get my money she has another thing coming!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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