Cyberspace - (Sore Ass Mess): Knees, elbows and other joints feature prominently in the soft-focus, hard core shots.
Today's online publication saw the Palace mount a furious rearguard action defending William's bigamous offer.
The princelet reportedly 'promised to marry' world cup draw officials in exchange for their England votes.
Just how willing he was to bend over backwards in his schmooze is evident in the pictures - which feature some very pre-nuptial activities in the Hotel Du Lac's penthouse honeymoon suite.
"Wills really put his back into the effort," hotel concierge Sergei Kushchenko commented this afternoon.
"Luckily the Suite's priceless Persian rugs stood the test of time and effort.
"That threadbare patch in one of the shots appeared a bit later - after Davids Cameron and Beckham joined Young Wills for an impromptu kickabout."
Colleen Rooney is 29.