Written by Q. William Bacon
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Saturday, 4 December 2010

image for Kim Jong-il Wins Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry
The Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry

Democratic People's Republic of North Korea is proud to announce that esteemed Council for the Arts has awarded coveted Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry to Kim Jong-il for seventeenth consecutive year.

Mr. Kim is well-beloved for finding inspirations in the simple daily struggles of citizens, as in Cataracts of Joy

Only the village without electricity
Can truly see the Milky Way.
Only the grandmother who wears the arcwelding mask
Can truly see the sun.

Mr. Kim reveals joy of food scarcity and resulting sveltness of citizenry, as shown in Comrades, Do The Foraging Dance

When a bee locates a food source,
What does he do?
He returns to his hive and tells his comrades.
How does he do this?
He dances!
Thus should you celebrate your search for food.
You never saw a gold medalist
in synchronized swimming
who was fat, did you?
And what happens to the fattest person
when his village must turn to cannibalism?
He is the first one to be eaten!

But, in addition to national happiness, Mr. Kim describes grim warning to those few who would insult national happiness, as in this excerpt from The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
The one that led to the Chinese border,
But I was captured by law and order.
My treason led only to my grief,
for now I mine bauxite with my teeth.

Mr. Kim extolls the people to resist the evils of capitalism in Wall Street Bull, How Shriveled Are They Now?

If your right hand seeks capitalism,
Cut it off and throw it from you.
If your left hand then seeks capitalism,
Also cut it off and throw it.
Or get a friend to help you.

Mr. Kim extolls our sister nation to resist the evil influence of American money and decadence, as in this excerpt from his classic, South Korea

South Korea!
You don haf to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don haf to sell your body to the night
South Korea!
You don haf to wear that dress tonight.
Walk the streets for money
You don care if it's wrong or if it's right
South Korea!

But Mr. Kim is a soul of joy, not anger. Simple peace enfuses Mr. Kim's masterpiece, The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

when you can't
find

any petrol for
your car.

In his acceptance speech at Kim Jong-il Pavilion, which was attended by every citizen, the poet said with great humility, "When a tank is chasing a traitor and finally runs over him, the traitor's heart is squeezed out through his mouth like toothpaste from the tube. As a poet, that is what I attempt to do, to express my heart through my voice."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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