There used to be beauty pageants judging personality, poise, talent, evening gown and beauty. Now, they've gotten to the bottom of the line, the purest form, the essence, the prettiest kersloppus.
Women across America have started competing in a new event, "The Prettiest Va-jj in the Land, Pageant", Peekachoos from near and far, come to be judged in categories ranging from color and texture, to bouquet and taste.
Expert judges are a selected from a collection of vaginal specialists from different disciplines in biology, human relations, social psychology and porno producers.
The competition is broken into two categories:
Now that Bridgit Mendler and Miley Cyrus have stepped over the age barrier, from jail bait, to crusty old ladies, the question can be answered. Who's sporting the newest, freshest, prettiest vagina in the land?
Of course, Megan Fox is the current reining champion in the celebrity division, for outstanding vagina in the overall appeal and animal magnetism categories. She is the odds on favorite and definitely the one to beat. These new up and comers will have to prove their worth to de-throne Megan.
Megan is the undisputed fan favorite three years running, Title holders in the past include, Pam Anderson, Farrah Faucet and Cheryl Teigs, to name a few.
Past civilian winners include, 20 year old, Sherry Barns, a cocktail from Birmingham, Illinois. 22 year old, Stripper, Velvette Blu from The Playerz, Gentleman's Lounge, in Gary, Indiana.
The events are sponsored by Summers Eve, Tampon and The Gynecologists Guild of America.
Apparently the girls are ready, willing and able to bare their all for cash and prizes.
Networks are currently trying to figure a way to televise the pageant but are experiencing resistance from the censors.
From Sunset and Vine
Buck E Filbert
"If you have a vagina and an attitude in this town, then that's a lethal combination."