Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 3 December 2010

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So, it'll just be Wimbledon in 2018 then.

Britain's "red-top" papers have reacted to the FIFA vote to give the 2018 World Cup to Russia in a satisfyingly predictable way.

One banner headline reads: "Russkies Take Blatter Up The Arse In Vote Fixing Scandal!"

Another blames CONCACAF power broker Jack Warner for England missing out on the tournament: "Russians pay for boys to suck Warner off in the showers."

Still another claimed: "Entire voting committee are English hating c**ts who f*** sheep, llamas and small rodents."

Of course, the voices of the chattering classes in the broadsheets and whatever they call those other funny shaped papers these days, tried to be more sanguine about the decision.

Said one columnist: "Ah so what? Do we really want thousands of oiky foreign football fans thronging our city centres all summer - isn't it bad enough we have to put up with our own?"

And another: "It's better that when we are ignominiously dumped out of the competition at the group stage, we can blame foreign conditions and Russian dirty tricks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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