Written by Spicewood
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Topics: Cooking, cookery

Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for New Cooking Method
The Forpeil Unit

It will soon be revealed that Ron Popeil and George Foreman are in the process of merging their two companies, and developing a revolutionary new cooking method which will be called the Forepeil.

"We have been looking at this method for a number of years," Ron commented, "it is new, perhaps too new for the general public who are used to putting it in and 'closing the door,' or putting it in and closing the lid."

The new method cooks in a cardboard box, so depending on the size of the meat or fish you intend to cook, many sizes are available throughout the house. "A shoebox, is great for a chicken,"Foreman chimned in, "and a larger size such as a Junior Carton is perfect for a ham or a turkey."

The secret to cooking in a shoebox is the Forepeil, which is a circular unit with a green pasconary circle which emits and radiates in a gradiation circle. One demonstration showed Popeil placing the chicken in the shoebox, taking out the Forepeil, shaking it a few times, placing it in the shoebox, closing the lid, and Ron stating, "Just Shake it and Forepeil it."

Foreman later baked a fourteen pound ham in a ladies hatbox using the same basic method.

The grease in the box is "evastilated" as they call it, and there is no trace of grease left in the box after cooking. ACtually, Mrs. Foreman placed her hat back in the box immediately after George baked his ham.

The Forepeil has a minature integrated thermo circuit unit that was developed by NASA and the cooking unit uses that in conjunction with a T-31 crono unit, basically the same one used in cell phones today, but with the anso modification which convert the energy to micro zeno waves.

An infomercial is presently being filmed in New Jersey, and the company is overcoming some packaging difficulties. Some cell phone signals start the unit and it has a tendency to melt the packaging material,

As soon as this and a few other technical difficulties are resolved it will be available for purchase at Walmart and other select stores.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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