Written by Morse
Print this

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

image for Obama on Wikileaks: It appears "Don't Ask, DON'T TELL' hasn't worked out too well!
Gay private violates 'don't tell' policy after boyfriend stopped bringing hims flowers!

President Barry " Folks, I want to be your buddy, " Obama has finally been forced to make a public announcement concerning the national embarrassment over the Wikileaks hoorah which he is now linking to his push to abolish the "don't ask, don't tell' policy on gays in the military.

"Um, ahhh, it has been become apparent , ah, ah, to me in the past 36 hours that it is imperative to repeal Bill Clinton's policy on gays in the military which has ah,um,ah, proven to be ineffectual as regards keeping highly classified state secrets," Obama stammered, while trying to appear masculinely Presidential.

The president is now urging the lame duck congress to repeal the measure before the incoming republicans take over the leadership in the House of Representatives, and weaken the Senate democratic majority with 6 new republicans early in 2011.

Despite the deal struck with gays during Clinton's administration, it appears that some of the policy's detractors were right all along...you can't trust a disgruntled, alienated, British-American homosexual to just keep his mouth shut!

The furor over the Wikileaks was all because a low ranking, openly homosexual loner, who made no secret of his abhorrence of military life and distain for the honor code, was allowed unfettered access to thousands of highly classified State Department and Department of Defense communiques.

What no one has openly asked is how did this misfit gain the necessary clearances to be assigned to his sensitive job, and why was he allowed to spend his hours mindlessly reading Top Secret critiques and then stealing them to be dumped on a world already a tinderbox.

Senior military officials, now retired, blame the failure of a command structure that has lost control and doesn't know how to manage effectively.

This latest SNAFU mirrors the Abu GrabAss Prison fiasco where a Female National Guard Officer was put in charge of the now infamous prison where serious violations of prisoner's rights were conducted with impunity, along with a culture of kinky sex and sado masochistic activities when anyone with leadership abilities, that should have accompanied the rank, would have realized there was a major problem within 4 hours of taking command.

While it is uncertain, due to the current ineptness of the administration, whether heads will roll over this serious breach in security, there is a move afoot to replace certain heads of all branches of the military with battle proven veterans instead of ivy league schooled commanders who never saw combat or left the security of their bunkers near the Pentagon.

One grizzled vet said, " it's about time we toughened up the back bone of our commanders and show the troops they can count on our support. If General XXXXXXXXXX (redacted) was put in charge you'd see a different mind set in the field. The troops wouldn't be afraid to turn their backs in the showers, or be nervous about who was sharing their foxholes with them. He'd straighten things out, and rest assured, It certainly wouldn't be in a Gay Way.

Hillary Clinton was unavailable to comment on this story.

Dave Cameron said he "wasn't up to it."

Nicholas Sarkozy said contrary to reports, he's on top of his wife.

Silvio Berlusconi still maintains he's the most loved man in Europe.

Vladmir Putin said, "You'll get my reaction....soon!"

More as it gets Leaked!

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

9 1 16 23
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more