Julian/Juliette? That's the enigma wrapped in sequins which is confounding investigators the world over. The latest disclosure from WikiLeaks indicates that founder Julian Asshat may have undergone a vaguely successful at-home sex change in order to preserve his anonymity and avoid police.
Asshat is wanted on a range of charges extending from telling tales out of school to really pissing off Hillary Clinton.
"Between Google, Primark, and B&Q, he/she was able to do all that was necessary to throw us off the scent. Although we have reliable information that leads us to believe it is an easily detected discount scent found at Boots," said Detective Inspectress Tess Tosterone. "We understand he is now a very unattractive woman who enjoys gossip. Obviously that does not aid in narrowing the field. Also we would like to apologize once again to Ann Widdecombe for the confusion that led to the incident outside the BBC studios."
On Larry King tonight, former US President Bill Clinton conceded that a conviction for angering his wife would not result in jail time but cautioned 'in it's own way, it's a still life sentence.'