Written by Julian Shure
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010

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Kim Jong-il leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, who fired missiles on the South Korean Island Yeongpyeong, has said that the west and their allies were wrong, that the missiles that were fired were not fired as an aggressive hostile action against South Korea.

Two days after launching the missiles Kim Jong said: "Before I fired the missiles on Yeongpyeong, North Korean people's statistics took a world wide survey on how many people knew my name, and how to spell it, since the missile strike its gone up 10%, this is a success!

"The west and its allies were wrong again about my motives.

"I'm really starting to feel like a somebody now for the first time on the world stage!"

Statistically Kim Jong is right, more people around the world are aware of his name, and how to spell it. Statistically more women would like to marry Kim Jong than before the crisis, at the same time women wanting to marry men on death row has dropped.

Over the past few days, Kim Jong's name, has been fading from everybody's mind. North Korean people's statistics have blamed this on Iran and X Factor amongst other things, but mainly on the student protests in the UK and WikiLeaks.

An insider in Downing Street heard Kim Jong speaking to David Cameron on the phone, he was pleading for him not to go ahead with the student cuts, as this will take him away from the media spotlight.

Its rumoured that Kim Jong is training undercover students to infiltrate and sabotage the demonstrations on student cuts in the UK.

Kim Jong has since joined the UK, the United States, Iran and Saudi Arabia in calling for the silence of the WikiLeaks.

UPDATE: Because of the latest WikiLeaks revelations about China's abandonment of North Korea or China's denial of this, Kim Jong il has temporarily retracted his call to the silencing of WikiLeaks until it all blows over.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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