Stockholm, Sweden-- Wikileaks plans to release the most stunning secret of all, at a news conference tomorrow. Wikileaks will release a UFO secret so incredible, it will shock the world. Major rioting is expected, and world leaders have been notified.
Wikileaks founder Julian Weaselface says the decision to release the ultimate Top Secret, kept him awake at night.
"I actually threw-up, when I found out. It's really that bad." he said sadly. "Once everyone knows the secret, it will change the world." said Mr. Weaselface.
Wikileaks put together the UFO information from 'millions' of emails, cables and government documents from all over the world. Thousands of suicides are expected, once the secret is released.
"I planned to release the secret tomorrow, but I think I've changed my mind." said the Wikileaks founder. His shifty eyes looked to the right and left, and he took a deep breath.
"The secret is this...and it's only three words. Ready??" he said melodramatically.
"There aren't any."