Written by French Marilyn
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Sunday, 28 November 2010

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William not to be King

Prince William flew from Heathrow Airport last night on a scheduled Air Kamchatka flight after having broken off his engagement to Kate Middleton.

Air Kamchatka operates flights between London and Kamchatka in the Russian Far East, but Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm the prince's destination. The airline, one of the world's poorest, operates two DC-3 aircraft manufactured in the 1950s. Because of the aircraft's low fuel capacity, the prince's flight had fuel stopovers scheduled for La Havre, Paris, Geneva, Bonn, Prague, Saint Petersburg, Moscow, Perm and Irkutsk before landing at Magalan International Airport.

There are unconfirmed reports that the prince has embraced a religious order which separates its monks from the external world. If this is correct, he will spend the rest of his life in celibacy and in prayer, cloistered in a hut in a permafrost area of the island of Kamchatka.

According to the jilted Miss Middleton, Prince William had said to her: "Who wants to be King anyway."

Before the prince had broken off with Miss Middleton, he had denounced his rights to the throne in a letter to his grandmother, Queen Elisabeth 11. We do not know how he had announced the news to Her Majesty. A copy of the letter was sent to Tony Blair: the prince was under the impression that Mr. Blair was still Prime Minister.

It is not certain whether Prince Harry will now become second in line to the British throne because Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, has been consulting with an Italian healer to help her fall pregnant. Should the healer's herbal potions succeed and she brings a son into the world, Prince Charles might declare the child as his successor.

Miss Middleton was last night being consoled by friends.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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