Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: New York, evil

Saturday, 27 November 2010

NEW YORK - The UN was shocked and exasperated today as yet again another evil villian decided to take over the world by impossible means.

Our reporter who was at the United Nations HQ in New York at the time recorded this transcribed audio message:

"To the delegates of the world's United Nations," said Dr. Sil-Ee Naym. "the ones hellbent on peace... haha, I shall take over this planet! Making WORLD PEACE a DREAM!!"

The entire room was shocked. Then they yawned.

"Right, right," said the Speaker. "We're here discussing investment into clean fuels, and you come to us with a world death threat? Come back when you have a credible threat."

The villain then promptly released Sodium Chloride solution into the municipal water supply of New York.

What does this mean for the New Yorkers? Doom and gloom?

"No," said Dr. Amy Winkle, a biochemist at Columbia University in Manhattan, firmly. "Sodium chloride, as you should know, from your A in Chemistry, is common table salt." That is correct. "Who put this in the city's water supply? Some evil villain. Honestly, they just go for the most evil-sounding compounds. All it'll do is maybe make the water taste salty. If he put a kilogram to about 100 kilograms (2.2 to 220lb) in, then that's wasted effort, cause the system used in Westernised water treatment plants traps fine particles like grit and sand - and salt -, making his plan useless. You know that don't you?" Our reporter does. "Oh, you just needed a professional's opinion to back yours up. Happy to help."

A spokesman for the New York City Water Treatment Centre said that they had recovered over 200 kilograms of salt compound from their water, put in by a 'myopic juvenile'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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