Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 26 November 2010

image for Kim Jong Il Earns Nickname 'Lil Dick'
Kim Jong Il dressed in royal rainments

North Korea's bombing of a residential district on a South Korean island this past week has the entire world on edge to see what lies ahead. The United States is already responding to the threat while holding talks with China to ask for their assistance in dealing with the loose cannon that is North Korea's leadership.

In particular, all fingers are pointing at the pint-sized leader of N. Korea, Kim Jong Il as masterminding the attack. Not only did he order the bombings, but he made the decision to use highly lethal weapons known as thermobaric bombs. These particular weapons are designed to pierce objects such as buildings and then explode a second time inside causing more wide-spread damage and death.

For this reason, Kim Jong Il has now earned the nickname of 'Lil Dick' (not to be confused with rap star Lil' Kim). Not only is Kim Jong Il's stature a driving force behind the nickname, but it is also highly suspect that ever since the pre-emptive invasion of Iraq of which Dick Cheney was a chief architect, the phrase 'Dick' has been used in more ways than just an abbreviation of the proper name Richard. The fact that Kim Jong Il is quite short, a feature that has not gone unnoticed in this article, leads many to add the Lil to the Dick moniker.

T-shirts have already being printed up with slogans like 'Little Dick is Il' and 'Lil Dick Can't Fu*k Wit Us.' In fact, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton is bringing several dozen of the t-shirts with her on an emergency trip to China to present to the Chinese head of state in an attempt to persuade China to side with the US in this latest Korean meltdown.

In related news, Kim Jong Il was given three chances to guess his nickname at a recent press conference and when he was unable to do so, it is reported he stomped his foot so hard that he fell through the thatched floor of his palace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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