Pope Benedict will make commercials for the "Papal Bull," a church-made condom specifically fashioned to protect gay males from AIDS.
In making the announcement, Vatican Rubbers, Inc., lauded the pontiff for his recent suggestion that condoms-previously condemned by Benedict and all previous popes-are now okay for gays.
"This should be a big new business opportunity for the church," asserted a Vatican Rubbers press release.
"In connection with the roll-out of the Papal Bull line, the pope has agreed to make a pro-condom TV commercial aimed at gay males," the press release states.
"In keeping with the pope's mighty and holy position in the religious world, we will not be asking him to demonstrate for the TV cameras just how to put on one of the condoms.
We plan to use a hand model and a puppet to simulate that process," the release ended.