Written by Inhopeless
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Thursday, 25 November 2010

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NEW YORK - At a conference at the United Nations headquaters in New York City, psychologists have worked out how to solve a problem like Korea.

North Korea, created as a separate state from South Korea, in September 1948 by UN and Soviet forces, has been subject to many attention-grabbing sequences.

"We've diagnosed the DPRNK with acute ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)," said Dr. Mark Ryan. "Essentially, they have been trying to get the world's attention... through attacking South Korean vessels, or recently, shelling islands, or executing the players of their football team in the 2010 South Africa World Cup."

Psychologists point to the neglect North Korea suffered after separation. For example, UN forces tried rolling back communism, which was deeply stressful for NK. Also, NK has had to make it seem like it's doing fine, even though it needs help from other nations.

"North Korea is like that little kid in the corner of the playground," commented Ryan. "It has watched China and Japan and the like make friends with the US and Europe, leaving poor old NK with nobody. So, its had to pretend that its an amazing nation, just to make the other nations pay it some attention. Of course, all this violent agression is winning it no friends, but it is getting the eyes of the world on it. However, the world is getting pretty expasterated. Someone needs to teach it how to behave properly."

Armed with this new information, delagates from twenty nations have managed to smuggle themselves into the capital Pyongyang, to deal with the crisis.

"Lookie," said an excited Reuters reporter. "We've got some tasty food aid snacks, lots of clothes, and some peace treaty signing! Yay!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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