Written by Mike Elliott
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Topics: Music, Money

Wednesday, 27 July 2005

Beans and Greens may now be eaten without any reprocussions. The sound of music and the power behind it....well music is now being used to zone out or even elminiate flatuence. Gas will now be the thng of the past....with money raised the doctors who study gas and flatuence will be able to eliminate the potentially smelly problem. Years ago gas was suggested to be a fossil fuel...now with new technologies this has proven false. Come out and donate support Live 9 in stoping a gassy environment.

Sir Bob Geldof has announced today that he will be running a Live 9 to find a cure for farting. Mr Geldof will be presuring companies such as Heinz who produce baked beans to stop making them. Not to be confused with Live 8, Live 9 includes a little country in the middle of the artic named Smiggin Holes. Smiggins' has a small population of 2 million people but is the head quarters for Heinz bean factory. Smiggins was not invited until last week to be involved in world affairs thus changing G8 to G9.

These concerts are the start point for The Long Walk To Justice, the one way we can all make our voices heard in unison. Since serious gas causes motion sickness and vice versa....to serious problems will be stopped from the bottom up. Their message is simple: STOP FARTING AND HELP THE OZONE!

This is without doubt a moment in history where ordinary people can grasp the chance to achieve something truly monumental and demand from the 9 world leaders at G9 an end to farting.

The G9 leaders have it within their power to alter history. They will only have the will to do so if tens of thousands of people show them that enough is enough.

LIVE 9 is part of a day of action across the world which kick-starts The Long Walk to Justice that calls on the leaders of the world's smelliest countries to act . On July 2nd in London, Edinburgh, Philadelphia, Berlin, Paris, Rome and Smiggin Holes. millions will be coming together to call for complete fart cancellation, more and better deodrants and trade justice for the world's smelliest people.

To celebrate the move from G8 to G9 Milton Bradley the makers of famous boardgames has released a new version of the classic game: Battle Ships. When G8 or G9 is selected it plays music from the Live 8 Concerts.

Bono from U2 is releasing the anthem: Beans, Beans, they are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart, the more you fart the better you feel so eat your beans at every meal....This song was flagged as an illegal song and those who sang it was fined. Bono with the help of New Kids On The Block, Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Rick Astley, , Madonna, Eminem, 2 Pac, and Urkel on his accordian (The headline act). Acts to include are the Live 9 dancers, and the Live 9 Orchestra (Pictured above), as well as your other talent from the 80's to today including New Kids On The Block.

NOW IS THE TIME, THIS IS THE YEAR - OUR LEADERS HAVE THE POWER TO END FARTING - BUT WE HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THEM USE IT!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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