Written by Morse
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Tuesday, 23 November 2010

image for Dazed & Confused Obama Blames "bad cabbage" for Explosions at South Korean Kimchee Processing Plant!
OSHA to Probe Raging Inferno at Korean Kimchee Factory blamed on Chinese Cabbages!

In an effort to forestal making a presidential decision, Barry Obama today claimed the recent explosions in South Korea were the result of an 'agricultural accident' and should not be blamed 'on those folks up north!"

While the White House scrambled to appear presidential, the weak Obama Foreign Policy agenda became all too apparent as outbreaks of defiance and irrational human behavior have been ratcheted up around the globe due to lack of leadership on the part of the US and aided by a hostile United Nations , the power hungry bureaucratic European Union and the Hollywood backed regime of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela.

Obama said he was appointing wife and first lady Michelle Obama in charge of the investigation in line with her recent crusade to eat more vegetables and fruits, and for her intense interest in agricultural issues around the world.

Critics of Michelle's high handed tactics to force all schools to install approved salad bars and force feed students because of her war on obesity in afro-americans are calling the efforts 'a big arsed mess' behind her back.

As her first directive, Michelle ordered inspectors from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) dispatched to the scene of the incident with instructions to report back to her within 24 hours and imposed a global news blackout on the area.

Meanwhile, Obama is trying to find out who is left on his diminishing administrative staff that knows anything about Korea, dealing with short people with a complex, hostage negotiations, war, blackmail and bribery since all of those experts have fled to Chicago.

Obama has also charged house minority leader (sic) Nancy Pelosi to line up and brow beat former allies who he's spent the better part of two years pissing off, insulting, and rudely ignoring into supporting a possible rally where Nato forces will rush to the front, beat their shields with their swords, and possibly even moon the North Korean's from the imagined safety of the 38th parallel.

Robert Glibb, the President's Secretary of Spin, spent a better part of an hour long emergency briefing with the media, complete with charts and graphs explaining just how Kimchee is made, and it's importance to the Korean Culture, especially during Honukkah, before being corrected by a rabbi in the crowd reporting for the Jerusalem Press saying Jews much prefer Cole Slaw with their Pastrami.

Glibb claimed that the explosions occurred during the fermenting process when the cabbage, mixed with hot spices and water buffalo urine is sealed in earthen jars, suffered spontaneous combustion resulting in the deaths of at least 2 workers and the destruction of several warehouses.

Glibb also vehemently denied emerging reports that the suspected cabbages were imported from China and contained excessive amounts of melamine, c4 plastic explosives and a high trace amount of ammonia nitrate fertilizer.

Also unconfirmed, from reports near Andrews Air Force Base, that Air Force I and II are being loaded with freshly minted treasury notes which will be accompanied by Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and VP Joe Biden on a night flight to North Korea in an attempt to buy off Kim Jong-il until the administration can cut a deal with Israel to go in and take the whole regime out thereby bring peace to the region.

More News of Provocative Incidents Leading up to WWIII as the Administration Contributes them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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