Perverts and other sexual deviants (if there ARE any more) are rushing in the hundreds to Travel Agents worldwide, or booking online, for cheap flights to 'anywhere and everywhere' in the world.
They don't want to travel, they just want 'cheap thrills' being patted down, poked and probed by strangers. They're in no way sexist, homophobic or racist.
They'll happily allow anyone to poke, prod and probe.
"It's a dream come true," said Phil McCracken of Glasgow. "Me and me mates, och aye. We just luv a good probe, especially by strangers. It's worth every penny.
We fly all over the world on cheap flights, just going from airport to airport. We feel like we've died and gone to Perv. Heaven."
When asked if he was worried about recent articles in The Spoof, regarding sexually transmitted diseases as a result of some airport personnel using the same gloves when probing passengers rather than wearing a new pair for each probe, he answered,
"God no! We've GOT them all. It's not like we have anything to lose. Sorry! Gotta dash! Last call for our flight to Portugal. That'll be our eigth flight today."
With that, he and his 'mates' rushed to the Gate smiling from ear to ear and there to there and all places in between.