Vatican City - The Pope today approved a new kind of condom, called the Natural Rhythm Condom. It will be made available to all men to wear for sex with their approved Catholic Spouse (CS)tm. Anyone attempting to use the condom with a woman other than their spouse will lose all condom privileges.
The new "Natural Rythym Condom" TM is still pending approval in America by the FDA. "It is difficult to tell how it can be effective," said one FDA official on condition of anonymity,"It has no tip!"
Catholic Officials countered that the condom is 80 to 87% percent effective when following the natural rhythm method. It is exactly the same success rate as the natural rhythm method Vatican officials claim.
Tiger Woods, who is not Catholic, refused to comment, which we took to mean he is skeptical about the whole thing.