Written by Nick Hobbs
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Monday, 22 November 2010

image for Vatican Possibly Changes Stance On Condom Use For People Doing Sex
Does the Pope wear a hat? He does now!!

Pope Benedict XVI, Captain of all the Catholics, has sensationally revealed that the churches stance on condom use may finally be updated.

Until now condoms have been viewed as the Devils sheath. A tool of the gay and promiscuous, morally unacceptable and punishable by smiting from the good Lord above.

However, Benny 16 said that use of Satan's hat could be considered 'acceptable' in certain circumstances, as early as next week.

He said (adopting a pious German accent) "We can see where condoms may be required in AIDS ridden countries, like Africa, to stop the spread of disease."

"And we are also acutely aware of their fun factor at student parties," he continued, "I have seen many photographs on-line, of people blowing air into them and making them in to balloons!"

"Only last Tuesday, I had a bit of a shindig with the College of Cardinals, and one of them put a condom over his head, and then blew it up with air from his nose! My, how we laughed!"

"Wandering around, bumping in to tables, with a bulbous head and a point on top, he looked like a character from Star Wars!"

"So, yeah, we can see the use of these things in the future, you know us Catholics are not all about joyless worship and touching boys, we know how to party too!" he chuckled.

The Supreme Pontiff Of The Universal Church then demonstrated some balloon tying skills he'd learnt, by making a poodle and a Tommy gun from six or so condoms he'd brought with him.

They are now for sale on eBay.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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