Pope Benedict, in his wisdom, has lifted the Catholic Church's ban on condoms. Many Catholics praise his wisdom. Many 'lapsed Catholics' are rushing back to their churches in droves. Many non-Catholics, even atheists, are converting to Catholicism after hearing that 'free' condoms are to be given out at every Mass in Catholic Churches worldwide.
There is one stipulation: Catholics are only allowed to use condoms which are now being manufactured at the new Catholic Condom factory housed at the Vatican.
Ten percent of all proceeds resulting from 'sales' of Vatican Condoms, are to go to the Catholic Charity which is directly involved with the care of de-frocked priests. Eighty percent of these monies will be going towards the care of those priests de-frocked as a direct result of sexual deviancy.
Condoms are soon to be available to God Fearing Catholics as well as those 'fake Catholics' wanting freebies.
'Catholic Condoms' (each individual condom will be duly 'blessed') are being manufactured in a variety of colours, sizes and styles.
There will be the 'Saints' series. A pack of 12 each depicting a picture of a different saint. Also, 'The l2 stations of the cross' series, depicting - well - the l2 stations of the cross. The 'Pope Series',depicting pictures of different Popes of course, the 'Apostle Series', the list goes on. As does God's infinite love of his followers and those of his son, Jesus Christ their saviour. Amen.
Each individual condom will, naturally, carry a biblical verse and a miniature picture of the present pope, which will only be visible 'after' use.
Catholic Priests will NOT have to purchase these condoms as they will be issued free. It appears the Vatican recently heard about DNA and is taking no chances.
Rebel nuns are now gathering signatures on a petition to be presented to the pope, in a cry from the heart, to allow Catholic nuns to take 'the pill'. Mother Mary Margaret Theresa Madonna, of the Highest Most Holy Convent in Rome, is citing 'sexism', which has always been rampant in Catholicism. Mother Mary Margaret Theretrea Madonna is furious that nuns, once again, are being treated as second class Catholics in the eyes of the Vatican.
Word is out that many nuns are also calling for a Female Pope.
More to follow.