Critics of proposed cuts in NATO funding have been told that Europe and the west can remain secure from Russian threat by spending pin money.
Major General Casper Dillinger-Bollinger, a senior NATO planner, moved quickly to allay fears that the defence organisation was dropping its guard because the Cold War was over.
"No, no, no," he said: "We are merely adapting to circumstances.
"Certainly the Cold War is very much in the past, is history. But we are aware that the Russian bear is an significant power.
"What critics of these cuts need to remember is that cuts in the Russian military mean we don't need to be as tooled up as before.
"With the revelations that much of the Russian hardware is now inflatable decoys, we can get away with a lot less offensive materiel.
"Damn! We can take out a Russian tank with a pin now. And why go after an inflatable carrier with expensive naval jet fighters when one diver with a pointed stick can do the necessary?"