Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

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Today's stunning astrology aspects predicted by Bollywood seers

Mumbai - (Zodiac Mess): Indian stargazers who picked the date for Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan's nuptial conjunction advised on the timing of today's royal announcement.

A resplendent Sun trine Jupiter angle straddling the signs of Scorpio and Pisces was chosen as auguring immense good fortune for the wannabe couple.

The celestial seers' marriage guidance success was first reported by the Spoof's queen mudder following a tip-off from her local curry takeaway.

Since then Bollywood's astrology peddlers have been on Prince Charles' payroll following the 'astonishing accuracy' of their Aishwarya/Bachchan arranged marriage advice.

So are there any flies in this particular nuptial ointment that could possibly mar today's extraordinary announcement timing?

"Looking at this Thursday's stars I'd say it's a bloody awful week," Hellfire Club soothsayer Dame Daphne Hollyhock told reporters this afternoon.

"Today's splendid Jupiter/Sun link is a fly-by-night aspect when you consider what horrors are on offer Thursday!

"We have the Sun squaring Pluto - the baleful planet of truth and riches - bringing down opprobrium and disgrace on public life," Hollyhock explained helpfully.

"Plus the zodiac's Greater and Lesser benefics - Jupiter and Venus - both ending their illusory retrograde motion. Should be the eyeopener of the century!"

Mystic Meg is on largactil.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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