Written by Spicewood
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Topics: Al Gore

Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Gore Declares "We are running out of wind"
We're running out of wind

Commenting on a recently released report by his research company, ex-Vice President and authority on Global Warming, Al Gore announced at a press conference in Chicago, "This won't be the 'Windy City' very long. We are using wind at an alarming rate, and in the not to distant future this valuable resource is going to be depleted."

He was referring to the erection of the large "windmills" or wind power sources, all over the world. Gore stated," they are using the conversion of wind energy using wind turbines to make electricity, wind mills for mechanical power, wind pumps for pumping water or drainage, or sails to propel ships and the wind source is being depleted."

Wind has gotten scarce in Holland, so much so that there is actually a "black market" for wind which is needed to propel all the windmills located there. Dann Svenson of Abbekerk in the Muncipality of Noorder-Koggenland declared, "Ve uused to hab more vind dan ve new whut to do witth dem purty leetle mills run the whole day."

There was actually less wind than originially thought. Early estimates showed enough of this resource to last for well over 300 years, but as consumption has increased this estimate has decreased to perhaps under 100 years.

Gore and his engineers are working on large fans to propel the giant windmills. Their first design utilized wind power to propel the giant fans and this was eventually deemed impractical.

Their latest design requires an enormous amount of electricity to propel the fans, and at present with the wind from the electric fan propelling the windmills, it operates at a loss of $45,000.00 per hour.

New systems are under study.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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