Written by P.M. Wortham
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Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Ireland Considers Second Option to Solve Debt Crisis
The lush green hills of the Irish Homeland. Bring your cash and have a good time!

While considering offers and suggestions from other members of the European Union, Ireland is considering another less conventional option to resolving its own growing debt problem. Prepare for the 180 day long, 2011 Irish Fest.

Prime Minister Cowan and Finance Minister Lenihan have been working behind closed doors with Irish community representatives from around the world. Wherever there exists a pocket of Irish descendents and a will to carry on the traditions from the homeland, a plea will be made to celebrate their Irish heritage back in Ireland in 2011.

Reportedly starting with the St. Patrick's Day celebration in March and running a full six months afterwards, Ireland will plan on hosting weekly festivals all around the Irish Hills. Featuring deeply discounted airfare to fly into Ireland, as well as discounted rates on hotels and transportation, the goal would be to make Ireland an inexpensive tourism Mecca for those with a little green in their blood. "We expect it to be a good party, that's for sure", says special events coordinator, Henry Fitzpatrick. "And with a cold Irish lager and fine Irish Whiskey on the table, what could be better".

Ministry officials hope to erase the debt and stimulate small business growth throughout the land by hosting weekly recurring events all around the country. "That way we keep tourism flowing as well as the lager and whiskey", says Fitzpatrick. That is apparently how Ireland hopes to cover the debt gap, with a special temporary tax on alcohol, for non residents only. "Especially those Chicago Irish", comments Fitzpatrick. "Those boys can drink. I mean, who puts green dye in a river anyway, aside from Chicago? We'll have that debt covered in no time."

"It's not a bad idea", says New York travel agent, Colin N. Booken. "Nobody has thought of making an entire country into a discounted travel stop before. It's a beautiful country that needs a little influx of cash. For a couple of hundred bucks in travel and some extra cash for beer, why go anywhere else?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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