Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Santa

Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Dutch Saint Nicholas admits he loves having kiddies sitting on his lap, so what!
No, not him, he's fake, the real St.Nicholas is Dutch and admits to loving kiddies sitting on his lap!

In Holland (flat, small insignificant country squeezed somewhere between Germany and the North Sea) they celebrate the coming of Saint Nicholas with his "Zwarte Piets" (Black Peters, non-racist) on the 5th/6th of December.

Now this years celebrations have been marred by a particular outing from St."Nic" on his way from his home in Spain to Holland.

St.Nicholas has 'come out' and finally admitted that he loves having Dutch kiddies sitting on his lap?

This statement would normally cause shock and horror amongst parents of small children (especially in the UK where everybody is a Paedophile-Phobic), but amongst the very tolerant Dutch, it caused minor ripples of concern.

In the home of Vader Abraham, The Smurfs, the legalised smoking of cannabis/weed and the annual mega "Gay Pink Parade" such a statement was swallowed with a "sniff of marijuana."

Parents have been warned that St. Nicholas tends to be rather 'horny' especially after being locked up all year with his zwarte piets (Black Peters), so plonking little children on his lap should be treated with caution and accepting sweets and ginger biscuits (Dutch tradition) should only be done in public and not in his private chambers, he is Catholic by the way?

The modern world must accept the fact that not only our holy, Catholic repesentatives are not perfect, but also ancient St.Nicholas could possess human flaws too!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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