London has categorically had enough of disgraced Jesuit Minister Monsignor Francois DuBois and his best buddy Bert. An almost apopleptic Lord Mayor, Doris Johnson, almost in tears, told Fux News camera crews that he hoped DuBois and Bert would, "just buggering well bugger off and leave us bloody blinking fucking Limeys in peace and harmony."
"For a change."
The outburst came as protesting students went on the rampage in central London, orchestrated, some say by DuBois and Bert. As students stormed Conservative Central Office, breaking windows and hitting police officers with sticks and stones in protest at tuition fees.
A Metropolitan Police spokesman said that DuBois and Bert had been identified and captured on CCTV orchestrating the violence, even though neither man is English, and they're not even students.
On one CCTV clip, DuBois and Bert can be clearly identified shouting, "Have at the bastards! Make 'em have it! Take no effen prisoners dudes!"
It isn't the first time DuBois and his bestest buddy Bert have antagonised the authorities in London. Some time ago, a messed up driving manouevre in Trafalgar Square resulted in Nelson's statue being knocked off its column.
It is currently understood that DuBois and Bert escaped through the crowds at the student demo and are currently back en route to the USA. It has been expostulated that DuBois instigated the student violence because he was pissed off by the paucity of pussy in the nation's capital, and that his best buddy Bert was outraged by the price of a bucket of coffee in Starbuck's.
CIA agents wearing black suits and sunglasses are expected to meet the errant pair on arrival at Chicago O'Hare Airport.
"Cripes," said one agent. "We thought Bin Laden was a pain in the ass, but these guys are causing us a massive headache. They're just out of control."
More as we get it.