Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 2 November 2010

image for Vatican Bank denies links to Lebdev raid
Cardinal Shergar was said to be feeling a bit queasy this morning at news of the Moscow raid

Rome - (God's Banker Update): The Pope's bagman has strenuously denied reports that September's police raids on the First Vatican Moneylaundering Bank of Pyongyang are in any way connected to this morning's drama in Moscow.

First Vatican CEO Cardinal Shergar O'Brinks-Matt issued a statement saying that a raid on banking and media magnate Alexander Lebedev's First Moscow Gravy Train Bank by armed cops wearing masks 'was a complete coincidence'.

The ex-KGB spook turned tycoon's spectacular trajectory to oligarchy riches has long been Turin-shrouded in mystery.

Reports that he is one of Pope John Paul II's numerous bastard brats have been summarily dismissed as idle speculation.

But Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency cops around the world all reckon that dozens of notorious bank collapses are linked to Pope JP2 Lodge's DNA empire.

The June 1982 death under London's Blackfriars Bridge of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi remains an unsolved crime.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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