Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Pirates, Below Decks

Monday, 1 November 2010

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Oh Puh Leeze - Not Again!

Whoah there Neddy! Incoming news indicates that there was a shocking surprise in store for a group of Somali pirates, hoping to rip off another Western freight vessel in order to boost the coffers of various international terrorist groups.

The pirates approached a three masted sailing ship, which they had assumed was disabled, and demanded the right to board, under international piracy political correctness legislation.

On the Horn of Africa.

The ship, later identified by NATO operatives in the field as HMS Buggerall, absolutely refused to comply with the threats from the malnourished African pirates.

As the ship's Captain, Morse RN Semi Ret'd popped up on the poop deck, clad in his finest RN naval finery. Outraged, Captain Morse immediately sent for the conjoined Pissgum twins.

"What's afoot?" Percival enquired.

"Usually it's about twelve inches," the Skipper responded. "But on this occasion, I think the skinnies are really trying to fuck us up."

"Fuck 'em!" the conjoined twins said. "Let's have the wankers! We've got a gun and a bow and arrow!"

"I've got some blue shoes," birbee added.

The least said the better.

The Pissgum twins then proceeded to throw hand grenades made out of dead ferrets and chicken livers at the pirates.

Who beat a hasty retreat.

The ship's cook was a bit pissed off, because the ferrets and chicken livers were supposed to be for that evening's dinner.

But all's well that ends well.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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