Written by anthonyrosania
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Saturday, 30 October 2010

image for How to Fail At Package Bombing: Send It From Yemen
Dear editors: Could you do me a favor? Just throw a picture of a plane on this article, please? Thanks.

Law enforcement officers across the planet are laughing their asses off at the terrorists ridiculously ineffective plot to bomb a Midwest synagogue that was thwarted this day.

Terrorists, who obviously received a public school education, weaponized a printer cartridge, and UPSed it to a synagogue in the Chicago area.

"So, there are two constants in overseas package shipments," said a Federal Express spokesperson. "One, the French never use enough postage, and a package from Yemen to a synagogue is always a bomb."

Fed-Ex also stated that bombs sent with their service make it to their target by 10:30AM.

Yemen is a 'Near-East' presidential republic with a bi-camel legislature and a a rich, Jew-hating history, dating back before the time of Christ (who they hate).

Under its constitution, for example, everyone age 18 and older may vote, but any non-Muslim who wins an elected office is beheaded in a public celebration. The beheading is followed by cake and ice-cream for all.

Given their history, UPS employees were pretty sure something evil was afoot when the package was spotted.

"We actually pulled the package off the plane, and brought it into the Supervisor's office," said a UPS plane loaded."We laughed about for hours."

"Seriously, a package from Yemen to a Jewish church? They might as well write BOMB across the address label with a Sharpie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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