Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Schwarzenegger Contemplates Run for Prez in 2012; Offers Up Birth Certificate from Berlin, NH as Proof of Citizenship!
"I swear...I was born in Berlin, NH, Trust me!"

Arnold's not saying much, but actions on his behalf by a grass roots
party calling themselves "The Sour Krauts" quietly filed a xeroxed copy of his Berlin, NH birth certificate with the Republican National Committee today.

Schwarzenegger, who was originally thought to have been born in Ganz, Austria, says now that he was born in Berlin, NH, where his mother had chosen to settle after meeting up and marrying a Mt. Washington Valley Ski Bum only identified as "Ralph."

"The marriage didn't last long," said Arnold puffing on a cigar during a recent
meeting in California during the last days in his tenure as Governor," she decided it would be best to return to Austria, and so we did. As far as I know my Dad is running the Valley like he always did...he was known both for his drinking and womanizing and is well known for both in the area."

Little is known about the Austrian days, as his mother allegedly married an Indonesian Bob Sled competitor, while Arnold brooded and worked out building the muscles that would take him to the Mr. Universe title at the age of 20.

During that run up to eventual fame he served one year in the Austrian Army
where he continued his training running 20 miles in the mountains on snow shoes while carrying a 155mm howitzer on his back.

Speaking broken english, and after Arnold won several body building contests, he was 'discovered' by Hollywood, and the rest as the cliche goes, is History.

Even critics praise his business acumen, he is said to be worth over $100m, and tend to overlook his eye for the ladies."He's a man's man," said one
admirer...you won't find Arnie in the airport tapping his toes in the shitter....and no one's going to tell him to 'man up' in a political debate."

When told if he runs he could be facing the dreaded combo of Hillary the Hun and Slick Willie Clinton who would obviously be supported by even his own wife Maria Shriver, niece of the late President JFK, Arnold discounted the challenge.

"Machts Nichts!" he said forcefully....I like a challenge, and being the first divorced Republican to be President is only another challenge to overcome.
I love heavy lifting!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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