Written by shea lo
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Unable to predict his death, Paul the psychic octopus becomes tasty calamari. Youngest son Kim Jong-Paul being groomed as successor.

BERLIN: From his home - in an aquarium in Berlin - comes news that Paul the octopus, who shot to fame for his spot-on game-win predictions during this year's football World Cup in South Africa, has ... died! Unfortunately the many-tentacled mollusk had been unable to predict his own death, perhaps having gorged on too many fatty mussels.

According to management and staff at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre, the oracle octopus appeared to have passed away peacefully in his sleep.

Floral bouquets and teddy bears, sent by fans all over the world were placed in front of a memorial near his watery grave. The German govt has declared a 10-day national mourning period with flags flown at half mast.

Popular restaurant chef Wolfgang Pluck was desolate stating:

"Ja, ve vill miss de liddle bugger but chust to be on ze vinning side ve haf introduced a Paul the Octopus appetizer on our menu. It vill conzist of a salty mussel wrapped in various national flags made out of fig leaves und garnished viz dried fruit or nuts - for chust zixteen euros per plate."

Although Paul will be missed, his fans can take comfort in the fact that Paul was a prolific producer of many sons and rumor has it that his youngest son, Kim Jong-Paul is already being groomed to be his legitimate successor, having recently been made a 4-star admiral in the German Navy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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