Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Paul the Octopus Dies, But the Appetizers Were "Delicious"
Paul, chopped and sprinkled with a bit of lemon.

World cup prediction machine housed in the body of a mature Octopus named Paul, died yesterday in Germany at the age of two and a half years.

Not to lose out on the publicity or the opportunity, Paul was quickly sold to a local seafood restaurant to be served up as appetizers for the evening's meal. At a price point leaving most patrons wanting, several did pony up the 47 Euros to eat a piece of history. "Lovely flavor, slightly chewy, but I can say that I ate a piece of Paul and that is what matters after all", said one patron.

Originally thought to have been from natural causes, Oberhausen police in Germany have not ruled out the possibility of foul play. At least two members of the Netherlands World Cup team were seen in Oberhausen the day before asking for diarrhea medicine at a local pharmacy. The two men were not seen again until arriving back in the Netherlands earlier this morning. "Then Paul suddenly dies?", asks police inspector Dieter Hoblesch. Unaware that Paul had been sold to the restaurant or that he had already been consumed, Hoblesch commented, "We will have to make sure nobody eats the potentially tainted octopus while we complete our investigation."

In a related story, Oberhausen hospital was overwhelmed with wealthy residents complaining of chronic squirts similar in color to octopus ink. Apparently Paul the octopus predicted one final ass beating on his way to FIFA heaven.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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