Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Psychic World Cup octopus discovered dead - clutching Rooney prenup magazine story!
Burial at sea for the psychic cephalopod

Germany - (Fishy Tales): "We found him belly up this morning," dismayed staff at the Sea Life Oberhausen Aquariuam said today, "an Octoplasm News magazine story about Wayne and Coleen's wedding prenup in his withered tentacle."

Paul the psychic cephalopod mollusc is thought to have died from shock amid reports about the Rooneys' last chance saloon Dubai trip to patch up their flailing - er...failing! - marriage.

A postmortem examination later today will see Paul chopped up into calamari-sized pieces as vets search for the cause of death.

Last month the octopus was reported to have had retching fits when taunted by pics of Rooney hookers that someone stuck to the glass walls of his aquarium home.

"He was very sensitive to that sort of thing," Paul's handler Dr Otto Herring said today.

Aquarium staff now fear a return to the bad old days of having to pick their football bets according to primitive methods such as splayed chicken intestines.

Online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con go even money on a Wayne/Coleen divorce before the New Year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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