England boss, Fabio Capello's brother Nutterio Capello, a key member of the Italy Torture Mafia known as the Italy Torture Mafia, was last night arrested by well-known Italian detective, PCio Plodio, on suspicion of whipping a creditor to death with a wet haddock.
Nutterio tried a desperately cunning way of escape by telling the guard to let him go. This failed, so Nutterio tried to headbutt his way to freedom.
Capello has released a statement to the press about his brother's dramatic seizure saying, "What you talking about, what you talking you f***ing crazy man", to our reporter, before adding, "my brother will rip your f***ing head off when he gets out". Incriminating words no doubt