Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: juan williams

Monday, 25 October 2010

image for Juan Williams Now Reveals He's Afraid To Eat Muslim Food
Juan Williams at the age of three with his non-Muslim nanny Roberta Flickbetter.

NEW YORK CITY - Juan Williams, sitting behind his brand new desk at Fox News reportedly confided to Nate Bigginstiller, a janitor, that not only is he afraid when he sees Muslims on an airplane, but that he is also scared of eating Muslim food as well.

Williams confessed to Bigginstiller that he had no idea how bad this Muslim thing would get out of hand. He did point out that he is thrilled beyond belief that it provided him with a nice $2 million contract with Fox, but he noted that he is now afraid to even softly whisper the word Muslim.

He added that he used to like eating a certain type of Muslim dessert, which he did not want to mention, for fear of offending atheists, circus sword swallower's, or retired GOP butchers.

Williams said that luckily there are no Muslims playing on the Texas Rangers National League pennant winning baseball team, which is his pick to win the World Series.

SIDENOTE: The government of Greenland has informed the government of Laos that if they do not turn over the crew and passengers from the cruise ship The Green Lass of Ye Merry Olde Greenland 2, which went aground off the Laotian coast, that Greenland will have no recourse but to launch a full scale invasion of Laos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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