Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 21 October 2010

image for Anal Bleaching Supremo Issues Health Advisory
Nobody Wants A Burning Ring Of Fire - Bleach Or No Bleach.

Anal bleaching technician supremo, Raymondo Derriere today issued a health advisory for anybody considering in investing in the treatment.

Until recently the sole preserve of the adult movie business, in order to make close up anal penetration shots more telegenic, the practice is being embraced across the board - often by people with seriously crinkly arse holes.

Which is good news for the accountants, but not necessarily for independent anal bleaching salons.

It appears that the procedure is far from being totally risk free.

M. Derriere advised anybody undergoing the treatment to avoid hot spicy foods in the run up to the non-surgical process, as "It will probably cause the anal opening to hurt like bloody fuck, especially after eating a plateful of chilli, a kebab with lashings of chilli sauce, or a super fiery-Vindaloo."

M. Derriere said that he felt uncomfortable talking about seriously puckered up arseholes having not only to contend with the anal bleaching process, but also the possible fallout (sic) from a hot spicy meal the night before the procedure is carried out.

"It is a big problem because it has become ze de rigeur fashion," he said. "But a crinkly arsehole, viz a combination of anal bleaching and a hot Vindaloo can only be looked upon as a recipe for disaster. And a very stinky, messy and painful one at zat."

Independent experts recommend that anybody finding themselves in such an unfortunate situation could do worse than having a CO2 fire extinguisher at the ready.

Along with a bowl of ice cubes and a bottle of gin.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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