Written by anthonyrosania
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for Mexican Bud Will Cost $350 an Ounce After Authorities Seize 105 tons

A--hole policia in the Mexican border city of Tijuana, who should be shooting illegals launching themselves over the border, or arresting the 245,409 tranny hookers who roam the streets -- not that they can't, you know, suck-- have instead seized 105 tons of marijuana, the largest bust in years, the state news agency reported Monday.

Former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders...

...told CNN she supports legalizing marijuana. "What I think is horrible about all of this, is that we criminalize young people. And we use so many of our excellent resources ... for things that aren't really causing any problems," said Elders. "It's not a toxic substance."

"Those motherf-ckers," said Herb, the guy who we buy pot from. "We're gonna be dry for weeks now. Wanna scrape res out of my waterbong?"

Security forces encountered several vehicles suspected of carrying the drug early Monday morning. A clash ensued, injuring two people -- a government agent and a hardworking drug mule, just doing his job, trying to get paid.

Police seized 10,000 packages of marijuana that collectively weighed 105 tons. They also confiscated trailers, trucks and two-thousand firearms.

"We are doing what we have to do to keep Mexico safe," said the mayor of Tijuana. "Ha! Sorry, that was inappropriate. I'm sure Mexico can be safe, we just... HAhahahaha! Sorry, sorry."

"Have you ever been to Tijuana?" asked Herb, while smashing pot seeds up with his Bic lighter, preparing to smoke them. "We were drinking on our way there. We even brought a pipe down to the beach. No one cares at all."

"You can buy marijuana everywhere," he continued. "I bought a half ounce for $20.00 from people on the beach smoking. Sh-t, one of the cops said to look for anyone carrying a bag on the beach, or who has a marijuana leaf on their belt buckles. It's EVERYWHERE in Tijuana. This is bullsh-t."

In other news, 234,550 people were murdered in Mexico in the past 24 hours. No suspects were arrested.

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

4 2 15 7

Go to top