Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 October 2010

image for Brigitte Bardot To Run Against French President Nicolas Sarkozy In 2012
Brigitte Bardot as she appeared in the 1971 film 'The Legend of Frenchie King.'

PARIS - Brigitte Bardot retired from making films in 1973 to become a full time animal rights activist. And in that time she has helped to save the wandering whales off the coast of Wales, the pigskin dolphins off the coast of Miami, and the French fry crickets off the coast of Nice, France.

Bardot, who is 76, has been extremely outspoken in various fields including art, music, and soccer, where she feels that the ball should be half the size of what it is now.

She has also spoken out about the misuse of participles, especially the dangling participles. Bardot has met over 15 presidents, monarchs, kings, and rulers including her all-time favorite Nacho Winslow, president of Mexico, who gave her a pair of autographed maracas.

She said that she does not like France's President Nicolas Sarkozy nor his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. When asked why she replied because they are too busy having their wine parties with their rich friends while the yellow breasted sapsucker goes hungry due to lack of sap to suck.

Bardot stated that she does not like Carla's singing voice and she has described it as being somewhat pitchy.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: American Idol judge Randy Jackson was asked to listen to a song by Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and give his honest opinion. He did and Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson said that the song was pitchy.]

France's Ecological Alliance Fraternity Federation Party has asked Ms. Bardot to be its 2012 candidate in the upcoming French presidential race.

Ms. Bardot has stated that she will definitely run and her platform will be based on honesty, integrity, humanism, and punctuation.

In a related story. There is no truth to the rumor that if Brigitte Bardot is elected president of France that she plans on asking that the United States return the Statue of Liberty to France.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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