Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for First Chilean miner already showing signs of PTSD
Senor Pablo Houdini being prepared for the trip to the funny farm

Already, one of the Chilean miners has started to show signs and symptoms of severe PTSD. Within hours of being brought to the surface, Senor Pablo Houdini was experiencing cold sweats, tremors in his hands and an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety.

Most distressing of all, Senor Houdini began to experience vivid flashbacks about his wife's awful cooking. He began screaming "No more Costillas, no more Salsa Verde and you can shove that Cola de Mono right up her arse. I can't eat that shit again".

Senor Houdini found that he was also unable to tolerate his mother-in-law's voice, at one point trying to strangle her. Following this, he looked for the smallest, darkest place he could find and shut himself in the cupboard under the stairs. However, when he heard the sound of his neighbour having a ton of rocks delivered in his garden, in order to build a nice rockery, Senor Houdini positively shat himself.

At this point, he ran out into his own garden, dug a hole and buried himself. He would only communicate and accept food and drink through a narrow pipe, inserted through the soil.

A local doctor attended and made the necessary arrangements for Senor Houdini to be transported to the local Llama farm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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