Justin Bieber is ALIVE AND WELL. I am relieved to have the exclusive story on Bieber after his fans were concerned about his well being after they were scouring forums, official websites and worldwide newspapers and no one - that's right no one - had posted a story on him for three minutes.
Biebers spokesperson have issued a statement they would like the spoof to publish, thanking his loyal fans for their concern, but Justin had actually just been taking a rather large dump.
To keep all his fans in the loop, it was rather loose and pale in colour, 6 sheets of toilet roll were needed and it took two flushes for the last little bit to flush away. Apologies were sent for the distress caused for such a lengthy disappearance out of the public eye.