Lastima, Chile-- The rescued Chilean miners received an unpleasant shock from their company today, after they reached the surface. The miners for the XYZ Company were met by the head of the Personnel Department and presented with pink slips. All the miners were fired for taking too many unexcused absences.
Ms. Alysha Diablo heads the Personnel Department for the XYZ Company, and took credit for firing the trapped miners.
"Company policy dictates that each employee is permitted only five sick days per year. All the people were down there for ten weeks. Do the math." said the evil witch.
"They could have called and said they were delayed. They could have at least done some mining work while they were down there. Company policy must be obeyed." said Ms. Diablo.
Besides being fired, the miners were also presented with a bill for food and water. Ms. Diablo presented each miner a bill for $10,000.00 along with the pink slip.
"The XYZ Company provided them meals for ten weeks. Food is not free. Somebody has to pay for it." said the corporate hack.
"Life isn't fair sometimes. We all have our responsibilities. If the responsibilities are not met, then there are consequences. I'm just doing my job--it's nothing personal!" said the evil bitch.
Happily, the freed miners all got together and tossed Ms. Diablo head first down a mineshaft.