"¡El Arrrgh!" exclaimed Mexican pirates, after the lead investigator of the David Hartley murder's severed head was delivered --C.O.D., by the way-- to the Mexican Army, according to Fox News, which never reports incorrect information.
When the severed head of a murdered investigator absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
Mexican pirates are being investigated by the Mexican government in connection with the shooting death of an American tourist on Lake Killgringos, near the Texas-Mexico border.
The government strongly denied that they were delaying action into finding the attackers or the victim, who has yet been found, according to the Associated Press.
"Why would we delay the investigation," asked a member of the Mexican Army. "Just because everyone involved in the investigation gets their f--king head chopped off?"
Tiffany Hartley, the man's wife --whom I was convinced killed her husband and blamed the crime on Mexicans, knowing that everyone in America would believe it-- said that the two were riding on Jet Skis on a lake when Mexican pirates came up in a boat and shot Hartley in the head.
"Look, Americans should come to Mexico for the $25.00 a pound marijuana and inexpensive underage prostitutes we offer, as God intended," said a Mexican Police Officer. "And go Jet-Skiing in the United States, a country that hasn't seen a f--king pirate since 1714."