The eyes of the world have been focused on the dramatic rescue attempts in Chile lately, but unknown to their families and many media observers, the men have secretly 'turned gay'.
Insider, Larry Sabu, 20, told this reporter that the miners have got so comfortable in each others semi-naked company that they began having 'feelings' for each other.
Close quarters bottom tapping and the sharing of bodily fluids is grist for the mill when you're trapped with a pack of fat, sweaty blokes down a mine.
The 'gay way' naturally took its course.
These metaphorical feelings literally turned into full-on hardcore 'feelings' - if you know what I mean!
"They could have been rescued much earlier but they were having an Abba karaoke competition that they didn't want to interrupt," said Larry.
As far as the rescue is concerned, Larry had this to say:
"When the media says that the miners are coming out tonight they're not joking. They really are coming out - in every way!".