Last night under the cover of darkness the Chilean Government strapped Ines Sainz into the rescue capsule and lowered her down the mine shaft where she was enthusiastically greeted by 33 Chilean gold miners trapped there for the past two months. Ines Sainz first question to the miners was, "What do you want the most?" A melee ensued and now Ines Sainz is suing the Chilean Government for sexual harassment among other sexual atrocities.
Once the fracas ended 3 hours later a battered and bruised Ines Sainz continued the interview. Ines asked the miners, "What's it like being trapped underground for two months?" Another melee ensued and Ines Sainz is now suing the Chilean Government for atrocities which we cannot print in a PG magazine. Four miners held Ines Sainz down on the ground while the other miners answered her questions.
At this point one of the miners climbed into the escape capsule, began tugging on the rope and screaming "Get me out!" The other miners pulled him out and began all getting in at once. The capsule was destroyed and cracks began forming in the roof of the chamber. The family of the late Ines Sainz is now suing the Chilean Government for the wrongful death of their daughter among other unmentionable and unspeakable horrors.