Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 11 October 2010

image for Russian spy Anna Chapman hired by Vatican Bank
Chapman turned down royal bankers Cuntts & Co

Rome - (Sod's Banker Mess): Accomplished KGB money launderer Anya Kushchenko had been headhunted by the Holy See slush fund ever since her topless pics surfaced on the internet.

Opus Dei honchos told the Pope she'd be good for morale among the clergy because they've never had a red haired slag before fronting the poor boxes.

"Assuming of course you discount Mother Theresa who was ginger under that horrible scratchy habit," Cardinal Sin of Manila offered today.

"Then there was Pope John Paul II's wife Svetlana whose auburn tresses were the talk of Rome - despite growing from her chin, ears and nipples."

Kushchenko has been tasked with 'bringing innovation to the Vatican Bank's information technologies'.

"That's shorthand for one month to produce the next generation of Stuxnet malware with which to rob some Chinese banks in time for Christmas," Sin added.

"Apparently she's a genius at cryptography."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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