Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 11 October 2010

image for EU & UN Security Council Debate Fate of Isle of Wight: New Palestinian State?
Future of Isle of Wight as EU Contemplates Giving Palestinians New Home?

With peace talks failing, bombs continuing to go off, the Clintons' bogged down in trying to divvy up the spoils from an outpouring of money for the Haiti boondoggle and Jimmy Carter campaigning to move up to #9 in the "Ten Worst President List", the EU has now put the Isle of Wight into play as a new home for the beleaguered Palestinians.

Insiders at the Council of Ministers, who requested to remain nameless, said an approach to the UN Security Council is being contemplated to turn over the Isle of Wight to the Palestinians "who really need a home to work in Peace."

"Our closed door discussions with the Security Council has been productive and well received," said the source. Finding a home for the Palestinians is like trying to find a home for nuclear waste....you can move it, but you're never quite sure when it might blow up in your face! The Isle of Wight could be the answer.

When asked about the British response to such a proposal the Source discounted any unpleasantness. "What can they say," he said arrogantly, " wasn't it Chamberlain who gave away Poland to Hitler without consulting them...they won't say a word...not with RED ED in the Shadows, and that Clegg chewing on the trouser leg of Cameron...besides, the Isle of Wight is no great loss."

Reading from a Power Point Presentation the source listed the Pro side of annexing the Isle of Wight:

1. There is wide spread unemployment

2. The people are dull and mostly indigent

3. Due to lack of interest in SEX, population growth is down, and projections are for zero population by 2050.

4. There is a large population of sheep and other live stock providing ample
ammonia nitrate for bomb making facilities.

5. There are regular Ferry Trips to the mainland, and with the automatic inclusion as EU citizens members of Hamas will have ready access to the mainland.

6. Since the EU is the largest single donor to the Palestinians, as soon as they move to a safe environment, they will become the 3rd richest nation per capita after the US and China.

It seems the source is right about Brit reaction. Hot breaking news today indicated that RED ED is more concerned with keeping Child Allowances in play for millionaires since Britain is a 'benefit state', and this move will free millions of support previously earmarked for the island" to those who are entitled."

Isle of Wight Blogger and Chamber of Commerce President Sir Doctor Vicktor Nicholas has yet to be heard from, but it can only be assumed that the good doctor won't be taking the news lying down.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

1 5 7 21
85 readers are online right now!

Go to top