Written by masterchev
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Monday, 11 October 2010

image for Disaster as Red Sludge Attacks Italy

The 1920s saw the introduction of the Red Scare in Europe, as Communism spread from Russia and threatened to engulf everything short of a small town roughly the size of an average Walmart.

Now it's the fear of Red Sludge which is breaking out across Europe almost 90 years later.

The Red Spludge Scares were compounded today after the Dolmio factory in Naples exploded: sending a cascade of Bolognese sauce everywhere.

The sauce has already claimed 100 lives, and has threatened to attack the spaghetti community of Venice following projections of a "Seasonal Depression" at Pasta Scale 5: severe panic.

Whilst some Italians are rejoicing the fact that they can now get free samples, Burlasconi was quoted as saying "It's a pain in the arse. It's like a woman's period no? Hitler would know what I'm talking about!"

Yeah. Great help mate.

Scares in Poland have resulted in the military shooting every single jar of Dolmio sauce in Tescos and Lidl, just in case the Red Scare spreads to Poland.

Whensa your Dolmio day? For some people, the nightmare will never end.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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