Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: miners, chile

Sunday, 10 October 2010

image for Chilean Miners Just About Fucked Off With Each Other
Imagine a set-to like this, but 700 metres underground!

A spokesman for the miners in Chile, who have been trapped underground in a copper and gold mine for more than nine weeks, has said the condition of the men is "irritable", and that they are "just about fucked off with each other".

The 33 men have been entombed since 5 August at the San Jose copper and gold mine, near the city of Copiapo.

The spokesman, who did not want to be named for fear of being called a gossip, whispered his message through a tiny crack in the rocks at the mine. He said that, as would be expected in such a situation where everyone is living in such close proximity, individuals have started to get on each other's nerves, and petty squabbles have broken out.

One such occasion last week centred on the use of the makeshift bathroom the miners have created for themselves. Miners leader, Arturo Scargillo, had wanted to empty his bowels, but discovered that one of the junior staff, a noted big shitter, had left a 'dead otter'' in the toilet, and there was a scuffle.

In another incident, one of the miners accused a colleague of "snoring too loudly", and in a third, two of the group who are known to be practising homosexuals, were warned to "keep the noise down" during a bumming session.

The rescue attempt being conducted by those on the surface cannot come soon enough for many of the trapped workers, said the gossip, who added, chuckling:

"I think if they don't get us all out soon, we'll end up killing each other!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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