Written by anthonyrosania
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Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for Sir Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, Says Michael Douglas Near End Of Chemotherapy; Will Die This Month?
YUMMY! Gack. Cough. Die.

Sir Catherine Zeta-Jones, CBE, a Knight of the Round Table*, is waving goodbye to Michael Douglas' chemotherapy regimen, and his weather, old, flabby ass, as she marks the days when she can put that fossil in a pine box, probate his formidable Will, and move in with David Rockefeller, Sr., Robert Byrd, or some other famous octogenarian.

"Blah, blah, blah, poor f--king baby, I hope he lives for 200 more years," said Sir Zeta, who in 2003 purchased a Commandant-ship in the Most Bitchin' and Super Excellent Order of the British Empire, some English bullsh-t honoraniums invented by King George V, to justify his having between 15-20% of the country's --sorry, Empire's (giggle)-- net wealth.

The Hollywood corpse is currently receiving treatment for throat cancer and has said he is is optimistic about a full recovery, as was Desi Arnaz, Tallulah Bankhead, Jack Benny, Humphrey Bogart, Sammy Davis, Jr., Sigmund Freud, Ulysses S. Grant and Burl Ives, and that positive attitude kept them all from dying of throat cancer.

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